Angina
by NurseCompassion
Summary: Bella is a nurse who works with The Beautiful Dr. Cullen, and can't stop thinking about how his perfect lips would feel... well, she just can't stop thinking about him! Come and see!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I would love to own Twilight, but if I did, I think I would be too busy sipping expensive drinks by my pool outside my mansion to write fanfics. Consequently, I only own a very active imagination and lots of knowledge about appendicitis. I'm not sure its entirely useful right now.

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**Chapter 1  
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"Oh, Love…" he breathed, caressing her neck with his lips, lightly, so sweetly. Inhaling, he sought a way to actually breathe her inside of himself. She sighed, a soft, contented sigh that floated out of her throat and drifted into his lungs. Hearing him use that pet name, a name that spoke of so much devotion, stole the strength from her legs, and they trembled slightly.

Her fingers wound into his hair, soft and bronze and wonderful. Gripping the thick tresses, she angled his head closer to her neck, which had erupted in goose flesh at his agonizingly light strokes. Comprehending, he pressed more firmly, but still moved at his heartbreakingly slow pace.

She moaned, knowing he was teasing her, too enraptured to actually mind all that much. What a mouth this man had! Really, there wasn't anything about him that didn't cause parts of her to tingle. She felt herself warm to his touches; her face and chest grew pink with her excitement. He chuckled, and pulled his face back from her neck, measuring her look for a moment. Her eyes were half hidden by her long lashes at the moment, and her rosy lips beckoned him. Leaning back in, slowly, so slowly, he pressed his full lips to hers. They both moaned lightly at the delightful sensation that filled them, overwhelmed them. The softness! She had forgotten how soft lips could feel! And gentle-he was so tender; it was obvious he cared very much for her.

She sighed again at the contented feeling that rose up and slowly consumed her, but suddenly felt a sharp pain on her shoulder. Turning to see what it was, she realized she was leaning on the racks of charts in the nurse's station, and a certain bronze-haired, ocher-eyed doctor was gently calling her name, while an aide tapped her arm repeatedly and none too gently.

"Bella? Are you ok? You look lost..." Dr. Edward Cullen spoke smoothly, meeting her eyes and making her blush. She smiled lightly, and ducked her head, covering her lips lightly with her fingertips. Dr. Cullen had never been anything but professionally polite and devastatingly handsome. Bella's cheeks belied her extreme humiliation at having been caught in a daydream about the delicious doctor. He always listened to his patients and the nurses he worked with carefully, and worked faithfully to help people heal. Bella thought very highly of him, but had a hard time looking into his eyes. Not because they weren't dreamy or beautiful or the most magnificent pair of eyes she had ever come across, but because he always seemed to be so intense and intent on what was behind her own. She supposed that he was always as attentive, he had to be, to be such a talented physician, but it felt different, somehow, when his met her dark brown orbs.

"Umm… I was just thinking. Sorry. Here," she stepped aside, making room for him and then quickly deciding to leave and shook her head lightly at her pathetic lie. '_Thinking? What was that? Yeah, thinking about a nice hot make out session with you, Doctor Hotness._' Walking quickly to the med room, she shuffled through some papers. She knew that she had a ten o'clock med to give and pulled it, forcing herself to focus on the importance of her correctness.

"_These are people's lives on the line, here, Bella. Focus. You are a talented and bright RN. Concentrate on your patients. Dream about that perfect mouth covering yours on your time off…" _She groaned, as she remembered how soft, and full and pink Dr. Cullen's (or Edward, as she called him in her fantasies) lips always looked. Vigorously shaking her head, annoyed that her own pep talk had gone so poorly, she left the med room.

The rest of her morning was spent passing meds and comforting one particular wife who had decided to withdraw her husband from life support. It was an emotionally draining day, and when Bella finally got to take her lunch break, at two, she was ravenous and discouraged. She had brought her own lunch, and sat in the nursing lounge, swallowing large, partially chewed bites of her turkey sandwich. As she ate, she tried desperately not to cry. Most days as a nurse were very rewarding; she got to use her knowledge to help better people's lives. She felt a bizarre disconnect from the real world, eating so quickly but with such a heavy heart.

_"My coping skills are in the toilet! I must be close to my period…" _Bella tiredly wiped her hands and stood. "Just a few more minutes," she spoke to no one in particular, walking to the window, enjoying the view of the green foliage outside. The weather was damp, of course, and she pondered if her day was going to continue in the same vein. Trying to forget the past few hours was proving a difficult task. She couldn't suppress the scene that was unfolding before her eyes.

_"Please wake up. Please, Frank, I love you. The kids love you. The grandkids. Please try…"  
Bella fought the urge to leave the emotionally charged room, knowing she needed to be there for her patient and his wife. He was the unfortunate victim of a hemorrhagic stroke, which had caused severe brain damage. He had departed this world, but his body continued to breathe with the assistance of a ventilator. This woman had been pleading with her husband for a week to wake up, but Bella knew he never would. After talking with approximately five doctors and every nurse she saw walk past, this wife had accepted, most tearfully, her husband's fate and solemnly said goodbye.  
"Well… if you really want to go, I guess I can let you. But I'm going to miss you so much. How will I do without you?"_

_Bella lost it then, and tears streamed down her face as this woman confessed her undying love to her husband of nearly fifty years. Together, they cried over the Great Loss._

Bella shivered and wiped her cheeks, sniffling, trying to focus out the window. She heard a sound behind her, and froze. Why did someone have to choose _now_ to walk in here? She stifled a groan, sighing instead, and turned to face the intruder.

"Bella? Are you ok?" The second time that day, Dr. Cullen asked the same question, and Bella wished she could just die right there. Why did he have to be so sweet? She shrugged and struggled to not burst into tears again. As he inspected her face, his own tilted to the side and his full, beautiful bottom lip jutted out just the slightest bit. He seemed to be peering directly into her soul and she shivered again, involuntarily.

"Is it Mr. Carmichael?" She paused. She wrinkled her nose at the memory and tried to push her panic down. How did he know? Was she that much of an open book? She was really going to start balling if she didn't get out of here, _now._ Bella attempted to nod coldly and move past Dr. Cullen, but his hand reached out to grab her elbow. At his touch, which was surprisingly cold, she jerked to a stop and lost her tenuous control over her tears. They poured down her face, slipping hot across her cheeks and onto the breast of her scrubs. Edward… Dr. Cullen… released her arm as if he had been shocked, and his eyes bored into her own. She nodded, finally answering his question, but not trusting his voice. His look softened.

He gently placed his hand on her shoulder, and his thumb caressed her through the cotton material. He still felt mildly cool to her. It was a very pleasant sensation, as if he touch had the power to sink right past her skin and sink into her very bones.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and she nodded again, still unsure. The tears started to slip even faster from her red-rimmed eyes, at his tender words. Why did he care so much? He was a brilliant doctor, and she was just a nurse and what was he even doing in the nurse's lounge? How did he even know the door code to get in? But most importantly, would he stop caressing her? Because Bella was fairly sure if he didn't soon, she might have to throw herself at him and kiss him until she replaced that caring look he wore with a hungry one.

His butterscotch eyes glanced to his own hand and then back to her eyes. Bella's tears began to slow, as she realized something: while it was sad that Mr. Carmichael would be passing today, what was sadder to her was the loss his wife would feel when the love of her life would expire. Life is precious, but is made so by the people whom we love and love us. Bella had never really been in love and was so hungry for it. She wanted to look at a man the way that Mrs. Carmichael looked at her husband, with eyes adoring and words praising and hands loving.

Only a few seconds passed, as she thought this, and then pushed those thoughts from her head. She would have to deal with that later. Now, her patients needed her. She had to rise above this, for just a few more hours, and then she could allow herself to sink into the despair.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen… I was just… very… touched… by Mrs. Carmichael's love for her husband. It really hit me hard today. I haven't been sleeping well and wasn't as prepared to function with that… emotional draining. Sorry to fall apart in front of you." She chuckled lightly; somewhat embarrassed that she had been so candid with a coworker, and somewhat relieved that he seemed to understand.

"Of, course, Bella," he smiled, gleaming and fantastic, "please, take a moment. I was just curious if you had the results of the echo for my patient in 24."

_"Ahh, back to business." _"Yes, they're back. I can get the chart for you."

"Yes, thank you."

Bella led the way back to the nurse's station, and with it, returned the distant professionalism. An ache descended from her throat to her chest, and rested heavily there, as she spoke calmly and fought for normalcy. Inside she felt vulnerable and bare, and couldn't wait to leave the beautiful doctor's eyes.

That night, she cried and wondered if Dr. Cullen… Edward… could be her Great Love.

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**A/N:** I hope to not use too much medical jargon, or if I do, to explain it in the story. I'm going to be a nurse in December, and it's all I can think about… except for how fantastic it would be to with Edward as a real doctor. Mmm… delicious. :) Anyway, here's a short explanation, should you be interested. If not, it's still here. lol!

**Med pass**: medication pass. Giving patients their meds.

**Pulling meds**: Meds are stored in locked machines, in a med room with the supplies needed to administer the drugs. Pulling meds is getting them from the machine. Pouring meds is putting them into the dose cups. (I always thought this was liquids only. It's not. It's weird, I know. You can apparently pour pills? I don't really get it. So, I never say it. Pull meds. :) )

**Hemorrhagic stroke**: usually caused by a ruptured blood vessel in or near the brain. The blood pools there and creates a lot of pressure on the brain (the cranium can't expand, because it's immovable bone, and ends up squishing your brain). This causes brain damage. My grandmother died this way. It was very very sudden and really sad. :(

**Echo**: Echocardiogram. Basically, an ultrasound of the heart, allowing the doctors to visualize if you have any malformations or other structural problems.

**Angina**: chest pain. :) Bella's heart is hurting!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I would love to own Twilight, but if I did, I think I would be too busy sipping expensive drinks by my pool outside my mansion to write fanfics. Consequently, I own a smelly stethoscope and a cat who doesn't like people.

Please enjoy and review!

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**Chapter 2**

Bella woke, hot and tangled in her sheets. They wrapped around her legs and as she rolled to get out of bed, grabbing at her, trapping the pale, creamy flesh. She groaned, head aching from the extensive crying last night, recalling the acute pressure that had settled in her chest and couldn't be moved or displaced. She shifted slightly, knowing that he… Edward… was not going to relieve the sensation any time soon. She opted to lie in bed for a little while longer, and let her mind wander. Eyes closed, Bella pictured Dr. Cullen… Edward's … piercing eyes and crooked smile. The corners of her mouth turned up sweetly, delicately as she sighed ever so softly, sinking thoroughly into the memory. He had followed her and reached out to her and _touched_ her yesterday.

That touch!

It was like the time she was plugging in her toaster, and a very small part of her finger was touching the metal of the prongs. It was just a little shock, but she dropped (more like threw) the cord from her hand immediately. It was a reflex, not something to be controlled.

Then again, maybe it wasn't like that at all.

Although the sensation had been odd, and very surprising, she had rather liked it and wanted it to continue. Very much. It was like nothing else she had ever felt; so much energy and life and light had sunk into her body from his.

Unconsciously, one of her hands had slid to her breast and was ghosting over her nipple, through her nightie. She glanced down, surprised to realize that she was stimulating herself. Sighing somewhat happily, Bella reclosed her eyes and pictured Edward's amazing mouth kissing down her neck on over her cleavage. She wondered if he would like to find himself here, showing love to her body with the perfect lips he possessed.

Groaning and rolling a nipple thought her fingers, Bella's other palm slid lower, tickling across her abdomen lightly. She paused just above her small mound of soft curls, letting the anticipation build. She pictured what it might be like if his hand were here, discovering her. Would he like what he saw? Would he rush or take his time? Would he be happy to find her untouched?

"Oh, Edward," she sighed out, into the silent room, letting her fingers find the spot she would really rather had Edward's discover. She slipped lower, searching for moisture, but since no one else had ever found this part of her, she didn't keep her tiny fingers there. Rising back to the small button, she pushed against it, rolling and teasing and rubbing so very slowly. She imagined Edward would take his time, exploring her, pleasing her before he took her. She groaned, raising her hips, thinking of the way he might press and push and pinch at her, finding out what made her writhe and scream.

So she explored her own body, as he might, learning her, giving her some relief from all the pressure she felt. "Edward, you feel so good, oh baby, please, give me what I need," Bella begged her Ghost Lover, pressing into herself faster, more clumsily, soft moans slipping past her lips, a little louder, a little hungrier.

"I'm so… close… please," came her whimper, a mewling sound that slipped past her lips. She was lost in the fantasy of Edward, how he smelled, so sweet, and how his cold hands might be warmed by her heated pink flesh. So lost in the picture and the pleasure was she, that she didn't hear the growl that was steadily growing and how it found a crescendo as her body did, spine arching and lungs gasping. Eyes flying open, searching for her Ghost Lover, and missing his beautiful face. So lost in herself was Bella, that she didn't hear the quiet gasp, followed by the sound of a shuddering tree in the forest behind her house.

She lay still for a long moment, trying to enjoy the sensation, but she felt as though something else was needed. Bella didn't know what it was for sure, but she could guess. She had felt spectacularly empty when she climaxed. It was suspected that a certain male, who would undoubtedly fill her, would not leave her with that feeling.

Bella showered and dressed, disappointed to discover that her release did not seem to satisfy for long. She felt as though she had been mercilessly teased-and perhaps she had- without release. Perhaps she wasn't doing it right? Securing her stethoscope and name tag, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Thoughtful brown eyes peered back at her. Bella began to recall the last few months. Did she always feel so… empty… after she gave herself release? She supposed, yes, she did, but certainly hadn't recognized it before. It seemed to help in the moment, but now she felt heartsick, lonely for a real Lover to release upon, both in the heat of a passionate moment, her body clenching around him… and also releasing her heart to him, held so delicately to be treasured by him. Bella decided that this singular enjoyment was not as satisfying as it would be-must be- with a man who loved her and whom she loved in return.

A man who would be happy, eager to dedicate himself to her, and her body, learning her and desiring to please her. She was tired of this half-happiness. It wouldn't do anymore. If it wasn't meant to be with Edward, how would she ever know, but to ask? To seek him out and make him see that she was quite desperately in love with him despite never having had a non-work related conversation with him and the fact that she didn't really know him at all.

Bella sighed, knowing the whole idea was absurd and stupid, because it was true. Edward could be a tyrant at home (although she couldn't believe it, really), some sort of monster. She had no idea.

But those eyes! And that smile! His hands, he healed with his hands. And his mouth, his words were a soothing balm to so many patients, and to Bella, since her break down yesterday. Bella smiled, remembering the way he had made her feel, so calm, so listened to and understood. He looked at her, and it was like he saw into her mind and offered a peaceful answer to her troubles. He had quite effectively soothed her, and the way that she had felt around him made her shiver.

"Oh Edward," she spoke softly, turning, needing to leave for work, but wanting to stand here and daydream about this marvel of a man. She turned, closing the door behind her, knowing that he would be at work soon enough, and she would get to see the real thing, which was, far superior to her day dreams (and fantasies) any day.

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	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I would love to own Twilight, but if I did, I think I would be too busy sipping expensive drinks by my pool outside my mansion to write fanfics. Consequently, I only own a pathetically old truck and some alcohol pads.

Please enjoy and review!

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**Chapter 3**

She fought back the panic that rose in her throat at his sudden appearance. Bella knew, without looking up, simply by the lightness that shone brighter all around her, that he was here. _Edward! _Her mental excitement was hidden underneath her stony face. She was well practiced at hiding emotions—as a nurse, she had to be. It would be inappropriate and unprofessional to show disgust or annoyance to her patients. Not that she felt either of those emotions right now. Bella was a lot closer to elation and joy. But, there was some trepidation too. What if he laughed at her? What if he really didn't want to be nearer to her?

Bella could feel herself wavering, and stopped those thoughts immediately. This wouldn't do. She must say something. Anything. Any hint that she wanted to be more than a coworker to Dr. Cullen. Sighing and standing from her computer where she had been documenting, she looked around the unit, knowing that he had to be nearby. If she were completely honest with herself, she would also admit that she could… smell Dr. Cullen arrive. He had an interesting and particularly sweet scent, one that was unlike any she had ever come into contact with before. Bella found herself smiling lightly, spotting him in a spacious dictation cubby, reading through a chart, writing quickly. He glanced up, catching her looking, ogling, really, and smiled widely in return.

Blushing and glancing down, she smiled more fully, knowing he had caught her, but not feeling too bad about it. Bella was surprised that he would respond so. Hadn't he always been a bit distant? Perfectly pleasant, professional, absolutely sexy, but a tad standoffish? To whatever this shift in character was the result of, she didn't mind too much.

Unless…

What if he had gotten a girlfriend? He never talked about his personal life. Maybe he had had a really great date last night. Maybe… maybe he had had really great sex last night. Bella shuddered, not from revulsion, but from the image of Dr. Cullen having sex, knowing he _must_ be good at it, knowing that she needed good sex. And most importantly, she needed it from this gorgeous doctor. The panic was back, and her heart jumped into overdrive. Sitting down, breathing deeply, she swiveled in the chair, so her back was to him, looking at her computer screen. It appeared that way, at least. She couldn't focus, couldn't even see. The image of Edward releasing in another woman, calling her name, it was all too much. There was no way Bella was going to be able to drop any hints today, no matter how subtle. She simply couldn't take the rejection or humiliation, whichever it happened to be.

Yet… those thoughts of him… Bella slipped off for a moment, picturing Edward making love, not to some faceless woman, but instead, to her, calling out for more from her, kneading her breasts and backside, kissing her lips, kissing her beloved button. She squirmed at that last thought… she was very curious about cunnilingus. What would it be like? Would she like it? Would he want to? She didn't know, but figured that if she were lucky enough to get him in bed, then she would take whatever he would give. On that same thought, she imagined kissing him so intimately, and not just kissing, but licking and pumping and sucking. She was quite certain that he would greatly enjoy it (if she did it right, of course) but wondered if it would bother her. Would he be too big? Would he be big enough? She didn't know, but thought briefly, if he wanted something, she would do it for him. Or try as hard as she could to make it possible, at least.

Work probably wasn't the best place to be considering all these mouthwatering acts. It wasn't only her mouth that was watering, as it were. Bella felt a little uncomfortable, and rubbed her thighs together ever so discreetly, suppressing a moan. If Edward were her lover, she would ask him to take her away, bend her over some nameless object and deflower her. Maybe not the most romantic, she thought, wryly, but this sensation was quite uncomfortable. That, and the growing feeling of something uncurling in her belly was unfamiliar and yet she knew it so well.

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Edward's head shot up, as his nose sought out the few molecules in the air that signaled Bella's arousal. He knew the scent well, having sat outside her room for so many nights. She had mostly slept fitfully, rolling and sweating, crying out for help to some nameless person. Occasionally, she spoke of her mother or father, but in the last month, she had begun to cry out his name.

Really, he knew it was wrong, and he continued to tell himself that each night was going to be his last, but it was so hard to stay away from Bella. Beauty. She was mystery and intrigue and silence. What a gift! He had discovered that if he focused very, very carefully he could detect some colors that were representative of her mind. He supposed the colors reflected her mood, but it was all very hard to decipher. When his name had left her lips he had nearly climbed into her window, and had gotten within arm's length of her house before he had realized what he was doing. Quickly, as only a vampire can be, he ran back to the cover of the awaiting forest, ashamed of what he had been about to do. Her mind had been a dark purple then but he didn't know what it could mean. She might just be processing the day's events… but why would she call him by his given name, then?

Edward was tired, for a vampire. Tired of being lonely, of being depressed; of looking for something… or someone, to change it. The moment he had smelled Bella, had seen her, he was enraptured. Her face, her eyes, her blush… he loved it all. He had gone to her home, down the road from Charlie's, every night since he had first discovered her delicious scent. In the last six months, Edward had learned a lot about Bella. After she graduated high school in Jacksonville, where her mother lived, she had gone to college at Florida State University. Bella had gone to the university's nursing school there, and upon graduation, before taking her licensure exam, had visited her father Charlie here in Forks. It was a lot different than it had seemed to her growing up. Now it was like a sleepy town that was in need of a new nurse or two to help revive the small hospital. With Charlie's connections, she was sure to get hired. The same was not true in Jacksonville, with a few good nursing schools nearby; there were not very many jobs available. So Bella, at the tender age of twenty two, had moved across the continent to be near her father and for employment. Everything about this woman intrigued him. He wished so very intensely that he could read her mind, but supposed the reason he wanted to so desperately was simply because he couldn't.

As the nights wore on, Edward could smell her body's sexual frustration, and he longed to help her relieve some of it. Or all of it. Repeatedly. Vigorously.

He was changed at seventeen, but so very rarely before had he felt his human age. That was an interesting point. He knew that he looked young, but by wearing glasses and dressing very professionally, he was able to pass for a doctor with very good genes. He smirked at that thought, as Bella's thoughts melted into a soft green, good genes indeed.

Finally, when Bella woke, he found himself floored when he heard her hands begin to discover her body. It was apparent to himself that her red thoughts were passionate, and he couldn't help but to lean against a tree and discover if he might be able to come with her. As he heard his name leave her lips, he began to growl and work himself faster, using his free hand to scrap along his chest, roughly abusing his nipple. When she begged him to let her climax, he nearly left the cover of the trees to give into her request. The growl rose as her pants and moans pushed him closer, closer, until she tensed, and he thought he heard the delicate muscles deep inside her warmth contract, and he spilled his seed onto the ground, gasping and shaking. If he had been human, he was quite sure that his knees would have given out, but as a vampire, he remained standing.

"Oh Bella," he whispered, already hard again, wishing he could push inside her to relieve some of this tension. It was quite obvious to him that she would like to meet with him in that way. But how to breach the topic? He would have to put all of himself into it, to get some of himself into her.

So, it was no surprise that, sitting so close and hearing the faint sound of a moan, swallowed in her throat that Edward had to suppress one of his own. Bella would be the death of him, of that, he was quite sure. He again, desperately wanted to know what she was thinking, but could very accurately guess, in any case. It would be heaven to sink into her warmth and know her so fully. It was only this morning that they had both found a release in their memories of the other. Why was it so bad again so suddenly?

He groaned, and lightly pressed against his erection through his pants. He scanned for any interference for the little plan that was growing in his mind, seeing it quickly to fruition as Bella shifted and squirmed across the room.

He would make her his own, very soon, but first he must see a few things happen. He hoped they wouldn't take long.

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**A/N:** What color would your mind be if you were thinking about Edward? I'd go with bronze… : ) Three guesses why!

**Documenting:** Is a record of all care received by patient, kept by the nurses and aides. Also called charting. Proof of what was done for client while under care. (Good charting equals no lawsuits against nurse!)

**Dictation**: if nurses chart, doctors dictate. They usually have a recording action to the telephones, and the doctors speak into them, recording their analysis of the patient and their plan for care. Then a medical transcriber listens to it and translates it... uhh, I mean.... types it up! lol. They talk really fast. It's very hard to understand. God bless them!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to SM! She's the genius, not me!**

**If you're intrigued, disturbed, annoyed, interested, please let me know. I'm not really getting much feedback and am curious what everyone else is thinking about the strange things that come out of my head.**

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**Chapter 4  
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Bella pursed her lips, glancing to the monitors which were recording the heart rhythms of the ten patients on the floor. Here, in the intensive care unit, everyone's hearts were being watched. She noticed something odd. One of her clients, one who was very sick, was having premature ventricular contractions. She watched as he had one… then ten beats later, another. Knowing that these are not a good occurrence, she stood, but paused, watching the monitor intently. Another, then right after, another, and suddenly, he was in ventricular tachycardia, a fatal rhythm. Not stopping again, she ran.

"I got V-tach in 6!" Bella yelled as she ran, "Jessica, grab the crash cart!" Suddenly Dr. Cullen was behind her, and he ripped open the sliding door to the aforementioned room. They looked at the man, his skin a sallow, sickly color. He was unconscious. To be sure, Bella called his name, loudly, briskly rubbing her knuckles across his sternum. He did not stir; didn't even move. She took his pulse at his neck with one hand, and at his groin with another. Nothing.

He was receiving oxygen via a venti mask, which was at 45% oxygenation. Dr. Cullen ripped it off and replaced it with the nonrebreather mask that was on his bedside table. He opened the oxygen the way, past ten, as Bella pulled the headboard off and slid it under the man, getting ready to do chest compressions on him. Dr. Cullen helped her slide it underneath the patient, and Bella squared her shoulders for a brief second before bringing her hands together and then rhythmically pumping against his sternum. This had all taken less than thirty seconds.

Jessica and Angela, the other nurses on the floor rushed in then, the crash cart in tow, as Erik, the respiratory therapist followed quickly behind. Bella's every thought was focused on the man and her cadenced compressions, and was only half aware of Dr. Cullen giving terse orders for meds that Jessica administered via his IV tubing. She was only aware that she needed to stop compressions so they could place the paddles against his skin, and only then did she look up, meeting Dr. Cullen's intense gaze, as he called "clear!" Everyone checked that they were not touching the patient, and Jessica pressed the defibrillate button, and a shock ran through the unconscious man's body. Bella stepped back, now watching the heart monitor with Dr. Cullen. She glanced to him, and tried to ignore the way that his deep concentration was so sexy. _A man could die, Bella! Focus!_ Checking her patient's oxygen saturation by clipping an instrument on his finger, she found it to be 90%. Not bad for a man in the middle of a code. His color was improving. His heart resumed a normal, albeit fast, rhythm.

Dr. Cullen held up his hand, and the nurses stopped moving over him. A moment later, his eyes opened. He looked around, seemingly shocked. "What's happening?" he asked, voice distorted by the oxygen mask. Bella broke into a nervous chuckle, meeting Dr. Cullen's eyes. She suddenly felt herself start to sweat, and her knees begin to weaken. She knew she needed to sit down. Now.

Plus, she glanced through the room. Everyone was here. There was no one watching any of the patients left on the floor. Bella gasped and walked quickly from the room, looking for any call lights that might be lit, indicating a patient needing assistance. She saw none, and sat weakly at the nurses' station, taking a deep breath in, holding it for a moment before releasing it. Slowly, her head slunk down, resting on her hands, crossed on the counter. Her body shuddered, the aftereffects of the adrenaline. Her heart raced as she tried desperately to calm it._ Slow, deep breaths. _

_Breathe. Hold. Out._

_Breathe. Hold. Out._

_Breathe..._

The trembling didn't lessen, but the sweating did. She tried to remember if she had eaten yet. It didn't seem to be affirmative. Angela poked her head out of the room, concerned.

"You OK, Bella?"

Bella nodded, "yes, how's Mr. Jenks?"

Angela smiled, "He's asking for his lunch tray. I think he'll be just fine."

Bella nodded again, and smiled, relieved. What if she hadn't been looking at the monitor? She was sure there had to be alarms to alert the staff in that event, but would those few moments that it would have taken someone to come over, look, read and then respond, have cost this man his life? She shivered again, feeling slightly nauseous. She didn't want to tell anyone, but this had been her first code, and it was all very unnerving.

A moment later, a cool hand was on her shoulder, and she just happened to know who it was. It sent that delicious, familiar current through her, and she shivered, pleased that he was touching her again, and wanting to know him better and thinking of how strong his arms were… and realized she hadn't looked up or shown any response to her name being called… again.

"Bella?" So soft and sweet. Just like it would be when he made love to her. She brought her head up, meeting his look, face burning.

"You OK, Bella? That was pretty intense." Dr. Cullen's eyes were a golden color today, but belied no emotion at the moment. She tried to smile, but found her facial muscles would not obey. But oddly, his hand, still on her shoulder, began to fill her with warmth and peace and she found the burn ebbing from her cheeks, till all that remained was a lovely glow. It seemed Dr. Cullen was concerned for her, and she was perfectly alright for him to feel that way for her. It was something! She tried to smile, and this time the muscles responded appropriately.

"That was my first code," she said, eyes wide and voice innocent. "It was… intense," she finished, copying his phrase from a moment ago. They nodded together, and it looked as though Dr. Cullen was now more impressed than concerned. Bella was shocked that she had just admitted this fact. Especially after thinking about how much she didn't want anyone to know.

"Really? You were terrific. No hesitation. Just action. It was perfect. How do you feel now?" Dr. Cullen's other hand slipped down to her wrist to take her pulse there. Bella knew it was flying, but that was simply because he was so near. She glowed from his praise, feeling a warmth fill up her chest, replacing the usual tightness.

"Now? Umm, I'm fine. I just needed a minute, ya know?" She bit her bottom lip as he stared into her eyes, as if trying again to know what she was thinking. His hand had ceased to take her pulse, and was now caressing back and forth over her wrist. Goose flesh erupted there, and she couldn't breathe, much less form a coherent thought. "Lets get some fluids in you. Go get a juice. Drink it all. Then, keep up with your water today. I mean it. I don't want my best nurse fainting on the job." His voice was stern, and the way he said _my best nurse_ made her heart rate skyrocket. She was pretty sure her pupils were dilating, as she imagined him bending her over this desk and crooning about _his little nurse_. She bit her lip again, trying to focus on what he was saying. Something about juice?

"Yessir." She nodded, saluting and giggling at the same time. She wanted to obey, really, but he was still holding her hand, still stroking, still staring deeply into her eyes. Bella thought she heard him… purr? ever so lightly. She wrote it off, and smiled, shyly, thinking of him gently stroking other parts of her body the same way. It was a delicious thought, and her mind turned a bit hazy, trying to picture him kissing her mouth eagerly, wanting to discover her, love her.

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Edward heard Bella sit, somewhat heavily and listened carefully to her heart beat. The man in this room would be fine. Thanks to Bella's quick action, of course. He was swelling with pride over her reactions, so calm, so in control. Rescuer. Smiling slightly, not wanting to give the wrong impression about its origins, he spoke quickly, seeing the pale peach colored hue Bella's thoughts had taken on.

_I hope she's OK. Better go check._

He left a few more instructions, wanting to have a second alone with Bella. Stolen time… he really should stay a few more minutes, but the room was small and crowded, and his senses would allow him to observe from afar. He saw the top of her head over the desk, and focused very carefully on her thoughts. Edward thought that he might be getting the sense of a great emotion, but was having trouble discerning what it was exactly. It excited Edward, as he knew that he was getting getter at reading these emotions of his beloved.

"Bella?" He called, striving to force the anxiety out of his voice. She wasn't breathing very quickly. His hand had already reached out, and was caressing her shoulder, his concern radiating and slipping from his body to hers. He inquired about her well-being, and she blushed and responded. Edward found the whole interaction to be endearing, and wished very much that he could read her thoughts. As she admitted to never having participated in a code before her reaction made a lot of sense, and his protective nature spoke before he could stop himself.

_My best nurse… mmm, more like _my _nurse._ He smirked, wanting to show her just what he meant by that statement. It was a slip, but the look of dreamy pleasure that caressed her features caused him to grit his teeth. It was so unequivocally lovely that he had quite desperately wanted to grasp her face firmly in his hands and kiss her senseless. Or bury another part of his anatomy in her and fuel her to make that face again.

And again.

And quite possibly, again.

What he wouldn't give to have her... understand, that is. If only he could explain… yet, it was so complicated, so convoluted, how could he ever make her see reason? He was a dangerous creature and needed to be avoided. But all his years of working with humans had made it easier to hide the fearful parts of his nature. Perhaps he could invent some disease that would explain his coolness, and the eyes? Bella was far too smart to fall for it, but with some vampire breath and a few kisses, he was quite sure she wouldn't fight it.

Edward pretended to take her pulse, pretended, because he could very well hear it ringing darkly in his head, but it was an excuse to touch her soft skin, something he had been aching to do for months. It was a sick sort of torture, looking at her beautiful, innocent face, and not being able to kiss her. He purred lightly, wanting to spread her open for him, wanting to dip inside and taste the sweetness. He realized that she was moving to stand, and assisted her, holding the tips of her fingers in his. She smiled lightly, and took one step towards the nourishment room, where she would find the juice. Edward let her hand slip out of his, really not wanting to whatsoever.

"Bella?" he said, sweetly, and made to look at her innocently, but somehow his look turned into a smoldering stare.

"Yes?" Breathless and flustered, she turned, glancing up at him through her lashes, eyes wide and mind maroon.

"I'd like to call you. May I have your number?"

Bell's eyes shot wide open, as did her mouth. Quickly, she clamped it shut. She smiled after a moment, and the maroon deepened to a dark, rich purple. Edward could only guess what that color meant.

"Of course, Dr. Cullen." She turned to the paper towel dispenser, pulled one out, and wrote seven precious numbers in her slanting hand. She folded it carefully, and then gracefully tipped it in Dr. Cullen's direction. He gently took it from her, reverently, and placed it into his left breast pocket. Over his heart that had not beat in greater than one hundred years, but at this moment, might have flown with joy.

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Please review. It would be greatly appreciated!

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**A/N:** This is actually what a code might be like. Except, once people code, they hardly ever come back. The patient dying would really have ruined my story. Seriously.

Goodness gracious, I love nursing. And Edward. _Swoon!_ I know that I put way too much medical stuff in this chapter, but I've been having obsessive thoughts about a code and what I'll do once I'm in one. God help me! Thanks for putting up with it and **reviewing**? Nudge nudge. :)

**Glossary**

**Premature Ventricular contractions: **or PVCs; when the ventricles, the bottom of the heart, has an extra beat that is too early. On these beats, no blood has had time to fill up the chambers, so once it contracts, it isn't delivery blood to the body, on that particular beat. Any problem with the ventricles is bad, as they are the pumping part of the heart. These arrhythmias are thusly very dangerous.

**Ventricular tachycardia:** or V-tach, is when all the beats are PVCs. Very scary, cause there is no blood being perfused at all. On the EKG strips it looks like a tombstone, rightly so, cause they are gonna die if no interventions are made, and pretty quickly.

**Venti mask: **a type of mask for delivering oxygen. It's not a really realistic choice in this scenario, if you're curious why, let me know, but it's sort of a convoluted reason. Not that important.

**Code:** You know on House, when they yell, "I need a crash cart in here!" like fourteen times an episode? That's a code. When the patient goes south, quickly, and will die without even faster intervention. The crash card has drugs and equipment to help deal with any situation, from a defibrillator, to adrenaline, to… you name it. Usually a code is called when patients have deadly heart rhythms or aren't breathing or something like that.

**Nourishment room:** where the snacks are! Ice/water machine, some crackers, a few popsicles, juice, cups, and whatnot. Very high end. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I would love to own Twilight, but if I did, I think I would be too busy sipping expensive drinks by my pool outside my mansion to write fanfics. Consequently, I own way too many pairs of shoes for one person.

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**Chapter 5**

_-Six Months Previously-_

Edward cleared his throat and rolled his neck, as though it could get sore. As he walked up the stairs (no one ever took the stairs, and he could move at a comfortable vampire speed) he prepared himself for the onslaught of blood. Onslaught… it was a little strong of a word to use. He thought about it, choosing allure, instead. Blood, so much of it, had worn at him until he was desensitized greatly to the pull of it. In fact, he thought he might prefer the taste of animal blood as of late. _Predator_ animal blood.

He stepped onto the unit floor, and his senses and muscles were suddenly tensed, ready to feast. That scent… what was it? The most delicious tasting human food, mixed with a floral decadence, calling to him, dredging up memories of his human life, and his most wild moments as the undead.

Perhaps he had come to the aforementioned conclusion about human blood a bit too soon.

Edward turned his head quickly, searching, and found what he supposed must be its source. A beautiful young woman stood, with her shoulder to him, speaking lowly to a nurse. She was wearing indigo colored scrubs, and he supposed she must be a nurse, new to the hospital. He tentatively pushed his power forward, focusing on her, needing to know more about this threat to his human persona. If he were to kill her, drinking at her throat as though a parked man in a desert, he very much doubted that he would be allowed to practice medicine here anymore. Or live anywhere besides a prison.

He smirked, but inside was slightly puzzled and somewhat fearful. He could hear nothing coming from this woman. Unfortunately, the pathetic voices of the other women on the floor, swooning and fawning over his sudden, excited appearance was very clear in his mind and distracted him as they grew louder and more jealous. Apparently, his extended perusal of the new coworker did not sit well with them. Jessica, a nurse who was obnoxious and did not care for her patients as Edward would have liked, was slightly louder than the others.

"_Is Dr. Cullen staring at Bella? She hasn't even been here for two days and they are already falling all over her! I am so much prettier than she is!"_

Edward focused on tuning down, and possibly out, these voices. He needed to work, to focus and concentrate on solving mysteries and helping repair some of the damage he had done in his past life. He worked, not only because he was vastly more intelligent than the human doctors, but because he needed to pay penance for the crimes he had committed in his past. Every day he saved a life help ease the guilt of the death and destruction he had caused so many years ago. It was almost, _almost_ easy being a doctor. The work was not hard, but the company was. Being around all these humans and their blood that pumped and swirled in veins that made his mouth fill with venom was his punishment. He wondered how many years it would take to ease the guilt from his conscience. He had learned all he could from Carlisle, including compassion. He hadn't needed his father to instruct him in the art of listening well to his patients, a joke they often relayed to one another.

Reading minds made caring for some patients easier, and some much harder.

Sometimes it was difficult to pretend he didn't know something, to enter a room smelling decay and having to break the news that a limb would be lost, or to hear a sluggish heart begin to fail.

Slightly shaking himself, Edward focused on the scent of this new nurse, apparently named Bella. She had long dark hair, it seemed to be wavy, but was currently pulled back to stay out of her face while working. Her trim body was soft, but well formed and well proportioned. Edward had a difficult time forcing himself to look away, turning to a chart, reading morning labs and the results of some tests he had ordered yesterday. Unluckily, it was easy for him to read these words and still have his lungs full of her scent and ears straining for her soft voice. Edward again opened and stretched his gift to hear the thoughts of those around him.

"_Dr. Cullen is so handsome, oh, I would love to get to know him better_!" Jessica again. He frowned.

"_I need a BP on 14, and where are the ABGs for 16?"_ Another nurse, focused on actual work.

"_What is she doing? Is she ok_?" Edward tried to pinpoint this voice, and realized this was the nurse who was speaking with Bella. He saw Bella's face reflected in her coworker's mind, and analyzed this statement against her expression. Bella seemed frozen, eyes wide and surprised. She was blushing and embarrassed, and it appeared, she was straining to _not _look at Edward. He was now _more_ intrigued. Glancing up, he saw the reddened cheeks himself, and smirked. This was unusual. Most women were bolder in this present day, and would have no objections to walking over to him and propositioning him. Certainly, they did not _strain_ to ignore him.

This was interesting.

Edward's eyes focused on the page in front of him, but his mind was elsewhere. He imagined the way that Bella fought against looking over must have something to do with his otherworldly fantastic features. This was something he was used to; women (and a few men) finding themselves struck by his beauty. But, this strange silence, it confused Edward. This woman was a dark, beautiful mystery. Who was she? Why could he not see into her mind as others? Why did she not look?

He saw her blush, as his head had disobeyed his commands, and had risen, gazing at Bella intently.

She was shy.

This explained the trepidation.

Edward tried to recall any interaction he had had with her father, Charlie Swan. His mind was also vague, wispy fragments, some words or ideas, but no clear thoughts. Edward had assumed the chief was a simple man, but now supposed he should reconsider. Perhaps Bella's silence was due to genetics?

His eyes gleamed as he closed the chart and stood, resolving to distance himself from this unknown force. Whatever it was about Bella was not safe for his existence here. If he couldn't read her, then she was the unfamiliar, and was to be kept at a distance.

But that scent! She appealed to him in a way that he had never been called out before. The dark eyes, so expressive, when her mind was so silent made for a strange balance, and he wondered if she was as honest as her eyes made her look.

He would distance himself and see just what Bella would show.

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_-Present Day-_

Edward reflected on his decision to withdraw from Bella, and considered where it had gotten him.

Desperately wanting to call her, to sit outside her window, watching her wake and walk and breathe every day.

This wasn't going as planned, but no one had pulled these emotions from him before, everything was so wonderful, so amazing, that he found it irresistible. _Bella. _Her name would roll off of his tongue at the most quiet times, when he was alone, reading, learning. Or sometimes, when he was fraught with frustration at the sweet smell of her blood, pounding through her veins with such vitality, he would silently cry out to her.

_Bella, Love!_

And sometimes, though he was mostly ashamed of it, he called out her name in the throws of a passionate touch, his, of course, alone and wishing he could have her and he weren't a monster and simultaneously that she knew and loved him anyway.

_Bella!_

Edward vowed again to not go to her house tonight, in the dark and listen and watch her. He knew this would happen anyway, but his sense of decorum insisted he make some attempt, no matter how pitiful.

He pulled the paper towel that contained her telephone number out, and looked at it carefully. It wasn't strictly necessary, as he had it memorized once he saw her write it down, but it was something she had touched, had given to him, and he wanted to feel close to her.

_Bella,_ his mind sighed, missing her. Before he realized what was happening, his cell phone was in his hand, and her numbers were dialed. He paused, cold finger hovering over the 'send' button, green as her thoughts earlier. Pressing it, he took a deep breath in and let it out quickly. Calm. He needed to be calm.

It rang twice, and a breathless Bella's sweet voice answered with a "hello?"

"Bella, its Edward Cullen. How are you?" He heard her breathing accelerate and slightly muffled noise bounced through the receiver.

"Oh, hello, Dr. Cullen. I'm good. How about you?" she sounded very nervous.

"Bella, I think when we aren't at work, I'd like you to call me Edward." _ I'd like you to moan it as I discover you, too… _

"Oh. Edward. Thanks." There was an awkward pause.

"Bella, are you working tomorrow?"

"No… why do you ask… Edward?"

"I would like to take you out for dinner. Would that be agreeable?" He thought he heard a high pitched sound, followed by a shuffling and scraping noise. He would endure the tediousness and revulsion of eating human food for more time with Bella. It would be well worth it.

"Uhh, well, I've already eaten. Sorry. Otherwise, I'd like to, very much. Umm, maybe we could do something else? Would you like to come over? Maybe we can watch a movie?"

Edward's mind began to race. Inside Bella's house, surrounded by her delicious scent, her eyes open and honest, watching him, he might be tempted… but no. Bella was offering a movie. He would make nothing more of it.

"That sounds lovely. Yes. May I have your address? I'm in the car now, so I won't be long," he said, but this was a lie. He knew he wouldn't be able to take his time driving over to see this angel.

"Sure," she told him, and he relished the sweet sound of her voice. It was only moments before he was in his car, thoughts swirling around the woman who had bewitched him, body and soul.

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**A/N:** I think that I'm being pretentious to put the lingo in this story, really, but I'm so obsessed I can't stop. I'm so excited to be a nurse, and they say to write what you know, and trust me, I know nursing. Plus, it's really realistic! My only improvement; a delicious Dr. Cullen, straining to hear my thoughts. Yummy! Also, anybody know where that last line is from? One of my favorites!!

**What do you all think? What should we have next? Let me know; I'm struggling a bit here.**

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**Glossary:**

**BP**: blood pressure

**ABG's**: Arterial Blood Gases. A laboratory test, involving drawing blood and analyzing it for the levels of carbon dioxide, oxygen, bicarbonate and other elements in blood. Indicates respiratory status.


	6. Chapter 6

**I've had one hell of a time writing this chapter. School was extremely traumatic this week and it has really rocked me to the core. But! The effort I had to put forth to complete this (and it was an effort- I literally forced myself) was beneficial. I found a catharsis in the whole process and hopefully am healed (or on my way there). I hope that this journey to Bella and Edward's love (Compassion style) helps you all escape from all of the horrible stuff that happens in this world, for a while. My best wishes to all of you and thanks for taking the time to read and review. Much Love. : )**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything even related to Twilight. Although it would be really sweet. : ) How we all envy you, Stephenie!**

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**Chapter 6**

Bella saw, rather than heard Edward pull into her driveway. This was only because she had positioned the curtain just so, allowing her to visualize the driveway through a slice of window. As his silver car purred before shutting off, she took three deep, calming breaths.

_Calm. Breathe. Tranquility. _She fought back panic that was creeping up on her. What would happen tonight? Why had she invited Edward over? What if he thought she was a complete idiot? What if he really liked her and wanted her? All options seemed to horrible to consider. What if she wasn't good enough for his tastes? Bella battled with the thoughts for a moment, before cutting them off, and with it, the anxiety. Shaking her head lightly, she hesitated in her foyer. Should she go meet Edward outside?

At that moment, it was too late, because Edward had already made it to her door. She heard his soft rap, and pictured him taking a half-step back, face expectant for her to answer. It was too late to back out, now. Bella took a deep breath to try and calm her heart that was attempting to beat itself right out of her chest at that moment.

Opening the door, smiling shyly, she greeted him and gestured him into the house.

They spoke cordially to one another for a moment, before an awkward pause filled her foyer. She offered Edward a beverage, or snack, but he politely refused. Then another short, awkward pause filled the second, and she suggested that they pick a movie.

"Sorry, I've only got chick flicks," Bella warned. They selected a title, very nearly at random, and positioned themselves on her comfortable couch, room still slightly lightened, movie quiet as they carried on a fairly steady conversation. Work, patients, Forks, _the_ _weather_; all safe topics.

Bella had stared, searching his face, wanting to see inside of him, to know his heart, but it was hidden; a quiet, secret thing. It wasn't a struggle to understand this, but it was to accept it. He must have some feelings for her, perhaps only of attraction, but something must be there. He had sought her out. He had wanted to meet, to call, all of this was at his prompting. Lord knows she was too scared and insecure to do it herself. Closing her eyes, and sighing, she rested her head against the back of the couch. If Edward wasn't going to initiate anything, she wasn't going to force his hand. Bella didn't know exactly what she wanted Edward to do, sitting here, nervous, sweating slightly, but she knew that whatever it was, she really wanted him to step up, be the man and lead her. She knew she was supposed to be liberated and all that, but she really craved a man who would love her and teach her and guide the way.

She heard him shift, but didn't open her eyes. There was a slight waft of air past her exposed neck, and then the clutch of cool fingers slipping around her own. She hoped her hand wasn't sweaty, but only briefly, as the familiar energy flowed up her arm and warmed her whole body. It was extremely hard to think with that sensation filling her being. Bella looked down and witnessed the grasp, and a small smile grew at her full lips. She looked up shyly, nervous and anxious to see his face. Edward was staring calmly into her eyes, looking as serene as if he had just woken from a miraculously relaxing nap.

"Bella, I think a lot of you and I'm attracted to you. It's really wonderful to be with you right now. I hope you don't think I was too forward tonight."

His eyes pierced hers, ocher meeting chocolate, and she began to chew on her bottom lip, hesitant, pensive.

"Edward… I… I like you too." Bella was at a loss for words, and cut herself off there, knowing she would say too much, embarrass herself. She had a lot of emotions swirling around, fogging up her brain, and they were hard enough to distinguish, let alone articulate. She opted to smile softly, and let her eyes drop back to their joined hands. Edward's thumb had begun to stroke back and forth across her skin sending tingles rushing up her arm.

"Bella," he spoke softly, focusing her attention back on his face.

She raised her eyebrows softly, meeting his even gaze, expression open. "Yes?"

"May I kiss you?"

Bella chewed lightly on her lip, then released it and nodded infinitesimally. Somehow, he had shifted his torso as to be almost facing her, his unoccupied hand reaching up to grasp her face, gently, reverently. He looked steadily into her eyes, then watched his fingers as they swept across her features, appreciative.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured; face inching closer to hers. Bella's breathing had sped up, her eyes wide, excited and nervous. What would kissing Edward be like? What would it be like for him to kiss her?

His lips grew steadily closer, and she could now smell his sweetly-scented breath and it bewitched her. Eyes fluttering, air hitching in her lungs, heart pounding, she felt his cool softness meet her warmth, and a slight sigh slipped out of her mouth and into his lungs.

What a sensation!

Who knew kissing would be so fantastic? He ever so gently pressed his lips to hers, using the greatest of care, lips sweet and breath intoxicating. Bella pressed back, her mouth overwhelmed with the feeling of him. They continued to press against one another for a few minutes, breathing in through their noses, needing more of each other. The kiss deepened, and Bella's hands wound into his hair, pulling at him, demand evident in her motions. She moaned slightly, loving the feeling of the soft thickness winding around her fingers.

Push, pull, breathe, gasp; they demanded and gave of one another. One of Bella's hands slipped down to his shirt, trying to pull him closer, but he was stone; immovable. Instead, she wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and slid herself closer. This time, Edward moaned, as he felt all the soft femininity her body possessed so close to him, her humanity so obvious. They broke off for a second, looking into one another's eyes. Bella's lashes made her eyelids feel heavy, and the arousal she knew was pulling low in her belly made her whole body seem hotter than it was.

Now she was perched in his lap, and his hands were gently grasping her arms, pulling her close.

"Sublime," he breathed, smiling softly. Bella blushed, and chewed on her lip, trying not to grin like a fool. Bella didn't quite know how to take all of his simple, straightforward statements. They made her feel as though she did know exactly what he was thinking, but it was unnerving at the same time. Would he be so direct when he had unkind things to say? Or when he tired of her?

She simply nodded, and smiled and came close to his lips again, wanting more of this delicious feeling. He early met her halfway, seeing his need for her was equally matched. Bella shifted slightly, working her hips closer to his, and felt his erection.

_My first,_ she thought happily, kissing him more intently and moaning softly. His hands now rested on the base of her neck and lower back, rubbing and pulling and needing her completely. She leaned back, flushed, but ready. Bella's hands slipped to the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. Edward's hands went to the cups of her bra at once, now kneading and appreciating her thoroughly. Maintaining only slightly enough composure to move her hands, she tugged at the material covering his chest, and he broke contact with her breasts only long enough to practically rip it off. Her eyes widened at the fervency of his touches as well as the beautiful, hard planes of his now visible torso. A thing of beauty. She sighed appreciatively, enjoying the sensation as he pulled her bra off and cupped her lovingly, kissing and peaking her nipples. His hands then slipped lower, gracing her warm belly cheek resting against her breast as he unclasped the button to her pants. She was so lost in the fantastic sensations he was creating in her body, she didn't think twice about lifting up, letting him release them and then work them down her hips, standing and holding her bottom tightly as he expertly snaked them down her dangling legs. Bella luxuriated in the feeling of him holding her, effortlessly, his strength so appealing. He sat again, this time, facing the arm of the sofa, with plenty of room to lay her down completely before him.

Edward pulled back from her lips, where he had planted another searing kiss, to look at her panties.

White cotton, with one small rose embroidered on the band. He groaned; feeling so much more aroused than moments before. They continued to kiss for a few moments, his hands urgent and lazy and exploring. Bella felt strangely calm until he laid her back against the cushions of the sofa, and felt his lips kiss past her breasts and belly. He had begun to work her panties down, sliding back as he exposed her flesh, appreciating and worshiping.

Then panic set in, and she gripped his bare, cold shoulder.

He stopped, looking up at her, as she lifted her head enough to meet his eyes. Bella was very unsure of herself, but that look in his eyes… he seemed so earnest. So open.

She could feel that pull again, letting her know she was ready for him. Was it ok to want someone like this? To do… this… _it…_with someone she really didn't know that well? He could really hurt her, she knew, but looking into those eyes, it felt safe, _trust me_ they said, and she did.

A nod was all she could manage, before letting her head fall back to the sofa. Edward eagerly pressed against her, his lips cool and smooth. She yelped slightly at the sensation, so surprising, so… fantastic, so good-sososo good, her eyes watered and she tried not to cry at the overwhelming bliss. Edward kissed her sweetly, hands on her hips, having already dropped her panties on the floor, gently gripping, slightly spreading her for his touch. He moaned at her response, and opened his mouth slightly to suck on her, to lick and taste and pleasure. He lavished affection on her in this way, exploring with his mouth and teeth and tongue and she came undone swiftly, not knowing what to do or say, but simply existing and feeling a love for him so forceful it made the spot in her chest ache in a most pleasant way. She flew to the heavens, a soft and violent rejoinder as she shivered and shuddered and he moved still against her, knowing he had no desire to halt, ever, after having tasted the sweetness of this enchanting woman's nectar. His tongue dipped inside her, fingers now slipping down off of her hips and stroking her thighs, tickling and teasing, mouth never ceasing.

"Edward," she breathed, voice catching and hitching as he hummed a response to her statement. She couldn't speak past that, as he slipped one finger inside her, testing her and finding himself even more surprised and aroused at how deliciously wet she had become. He then felt her body tighten uncomfortably, stiffly, and stopped immediately. Thoughts flashed through his mind, questions. Edward lifted his head, meeting her eyes, swiftly taking in her body, heavenly, beautiful, so _sexy_. She seemed embarrassed, unsure.

"What love?" he inquired, hands stilling. He didn't notice the endearment, but her heart rate spiked.

"It… it hurts." She bit her lip.

The impossible seemed to be looming before him. No. No way.

Impossible.

"Bella," his voice was soft, sweet, but, admonishing too. "Are you a virgin?"

The lip chewing increased. She was silent. A look of trepidation crossed her face as she flushed.

"You are," he stated, seeing it written on her face. His own was impassive, as he brought both his hands to her knees, noting her grimace as he withdrew from inside of her. This was new.

"Wow. I never would have guessed. You're absolutely enchanting, Bella. How is it possible that you are untouched?" He stood, pulling a blanket off of the back of the sofa, not really wanting to hide her body, but unable to focus with it so exposed. He gently wrapped and tucked her in, sliding her legs completely onto the cushions, kneeling next to her, wresting his hand on her far shoulder and leaning in close to hers.

"I'm sorry. I was acting on some assumptions that were false. I do not want to act like some hormonal seventeen year old. Please forgive me. If you'll allow, I'll prepare better next time. I'll make it something special for you. If you want. If that's ok." His eyes were intense, apologetic, but shining. Golden and gleaming with mirth. Bella nodded shyly, feeling very sleepy and having a hard time keeping her eyes open. He kissed her lips tenderly, then her forehead.

"We'll discuss it later. Sleep now, love." Her eyes fluttered a few times, but eventually stayed closed. Edward watched her until her breaths were even and deep, and then carried her into her bed, watching over her until the sun rose and he had to take his leave.

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_I can feel my whole body hum when you walk into the room_

_There isn't too much for me, no, it's never enough_

_I want this you here now I can't say how much I miss you and need you and want you and feel you all ways. _

_Always. _

_Pleasepleaseplease make them see this is for you my everything my all my open heart. _

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**Well, they finally get to it! Sorta! Lol, I just love keeping those two frustrated. Sorta. In any case, I hope you all enjoy, and I implore you, _review_. My heart really needs it. Let me know what you think. And what do you suggest for the next course of action?**

**What movie do you think they watched? Does anyone really care? More lovin'!**

**-Compassion**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own anything except a pair of seriously old and pathetic pajama pants that are torn beyond repair, but which I refuse to ever part with because they are so comfy. Obviously, SM wouldn't bother with them, so I'm not her, nor do I claim to own anything of hers. :)**

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**Chapter Seven**

Sometimes, things are not what they seem.

Bella lay, warm and comfortable in her bed, alone, as the sun shone in through the window, illuminating her pale skin so it glowed. She felt a contentedness she had never experienced before now. It was an easy, light feeling, that settled into her bones and made them feel wonderfully weak and powerful simultaneously. Edward had done something to her last night. And not just the kisses, or the pet name -_love_- that he had used, or the way he discovered her body, but everything. Him. Edward. His essence? His being? Bella wasn't sure but he had affected her deeply last night, and she was resisting the urge to think too deeply about the new emotions that currently swirled in her chest. The heaviness was replaced with a lightness and some sort of bubbly feeling that excited and terrified her. To give it a name would most certainly be a mistake.

She recalled the way his pale face had gleamed at her, eyes shining as he kissed her, and the deep hunger within her returned, leaving a pulling feeling in her belly. She shifted her hips and her thoughts concurrently.

Something had… puzzled her last night.

Edward was cold.

Always.

She worked at her lip, brow furrowed as she recalled that he never warmed to her touch. Granted, some people's hands were always cold. Poor peripheral perfusion. But not their lips and chest and arms. That's abnormal. She pondered what could be the cause of his peculiar difference. Some sort of weird vascular disorder? A rare one, that hadn't been seen or heard of in fifty years? And his eyes… they were not a color Bella had ever seen. Before, she had always been so surprised and shy when he looked into her eyes that she could only think of looking away as quickly as possible.

And another thing: why did his lips never seem to redden and swell as hers had? Granted, she didn't have the most experience in the world, but she was bright and observant. People's lips swelled when they kissed for extended periods of time. Forcefully, that is, just as the pair had done. She gently bit her lip, considering the possibilities. Edward's body was hard. Very hard. Not like, _hmm, what a delicious strong body you have, sir, may I stroke it again_? but more like: _wow, you feel like a stone and I just kissed you so hard my lip might be bleeding a bit._ Bella smirked as her inner monologue's sassy nature emerged.

_Seriously, what is it?_

Bella got up, holding the sheet around herself, as she was still as bare as Edward had left her last night. _This is so freeing, I had no idea it could be like this! I never want to wear clothes again._ Walking to her bookshelf, she pulled down a text entitled Mysterious Medicine. It was a thick book dedicated to diagnosing rare illnesses. Thumbing through for a few moments, she attempted to look up Edward's symptoms. What is the medical term for hard skin? She frowned, and closed the book, at a loss for what she was trying to say and discover. Why not just talk to him?

_Some autoimmune disorder? One attacked his dermis and made it… solid?_ It was very frustrating, and to top it off, she wasn't working today or tomorrow and would have to wait much longer than she would really like to see Edward again. Maybe she could just… happen to have forgotten something at work? Her cell phone. No one would know the difference; she'd just pop in and see if he was about.

She decided to get herself ready for the day.

* * *

Edward closed his eyes against the barrage of voices ringing in his head. Somehow after the silence last night, with Bella, he had become accustomed so quickly, and desired to exist in that blissful quiet once again. Her scent had filled his lungs, swirling around; making him lightheaded and hungry in a way he had forgotten was even possible. A part of his vast mind was absorbing the words on the chart before him, but the majority was dedicated to recalling the way Bella's body had shown luminously yesterday, displayed easily before him. And it was his! Untouched before his hands! What a concept, that she would preserve that most delicate part of herself for so long, and then deem him worthy to have it, take it.

The more he recalled, the more difficult it became for him to concentrate on the matters at hand. This woman was infiltrating his mind, silently, colorfully, and he loved it. No matter if they were doomed from the beginning, if they couldn't even exist—he wanted her and wanted to show her.

Edward decided to hurry and then call Bella. Perhaps she wouldn't mind going for a walk in the park, as it was a typical overcast day. That was innocuous enough, she couldn't say no. However, try as he might, Edward could only focus so much of himself to the task at hand, reviewing the changes in his patient's conditions over the last day. The rest of him was envisioning her heavy lidded eyes staring at him shyly, unsure of herself, and then how her lips looked after he kissed her, so swollen and perfectly red. He remembered the way her mind was a deep maroon and then a royal indigo, dark as the twilight, as her limbs shook around him, falling apart, coming and coming undone.

Now he panted slightly, trying to calm himself, as he had managed to work up quite a reaction from himself. Edward shifted and tried to ignore the pestering erection he had unintentionally produced. Bella's scent lazily wafted in front of him, teasing him, and he tried to ignore that also, but was surprised that the tantalizing aroma didn't fade with the memories. This piqued his curiosity.

Raising his head, looking about, he saw a dark haired beauty gazing at him longingly.

Her eyes smiled at him, biting her lip, and he crookedly smirked at her in return. Upon spotting her, he had unconsciously half-raised himself from his seat, charts and patients momentarily forgotten. Crouching, and realizing it, Edward straightened his legs completely and walked towards Bella purposefully. Both their faces broke into wide grins, the air between them alive and vibrant.

Bella held up her cell phone, sheepish, "I forgot this here. Silly Bella." Her tone was odd, a bit choked, and Edward suspected that was a ploy to see him. His eyebrows rose, smirking again.

"Is that so? Perhaps I might believe you if I hadn't seen it on your coffee table last night."

Bella's face burst into a hot blush, biting her lip, smiling coyly up at him through her lashes. Edward was quite certain he was a dead man; this woman had him in the palm of her hand.

"Darn. I knew it was a pathetic excuse," she giggled scrunching her nose and blushing even darker. Her expressions and reactions had him enraptured, and he felt desperate to see her more, and again.

"Bella, would you join me for an outing in an hour?"

Her teeth gleamed widely in response, and nodded vigorously several times. "I'll call you when I'm done here… since I know you have your phone now." He chuckled and she scowled briefly at him, blushing again, and fidgeting with her phone and fingers. Edward tilted his head, looking intently into her eyes and the space between them heated as their gazes locked.

"Until later," he breathed, nodding and turning, having to tear his eyes from hers and feeling bereft the moment he did so. Edward forced himself to sit and focus, quickly, so he might sooner rejoin Bella and enjoy her sweet, tempting company.

* * *

They met at a park near the hospital, Edward was wearing professional attire and looked stunning, and Bella was dressed casually, simply in blue jeans and navy blue blouse, but Edward had trouble taking his eyes off of her. They followed a trail down through lightly wooded area, where the trees blocked out sound from the nearby street, as well as dripped water down their backs. Edward took Bella's hand in his own to help her over a fallen tree that blocked their path, and he did not release it after assisting her. They enjoyed the current that warmed their bodies at their contact, and playfully bantered back and forth about their "chance" meeting earlier. Each felt a comfort, a camaraderie that hadn't existed before last night, and they relished it.

Bella was trying very hard to not think about the way Edward's lips and tongue on her body had made her feel, and in her effort, was missing some of the conversation. After Edward had repeated himself three times, asking about her family, only to be rewarded with a dreamy stare, his curiosity had overwhelmed him.

"Bella, tell me what you're thinking about." Her glazed over eyes flickered in response, and she blushed, head falling down, wishing she hadn't just gotten caught. He shook her hand gently in his own, halting his feet and pulling her to his hard body.

"Tell me," he breathed, eyes scorching hers as she met them. The burnt orange tinge to her thoughts gave him no clue, although her blush did. Bella chewed on her lip, as she fought for an answer that wouldn't seem too racy. She breathed out as she prepared to speak, her warm breath washing over Edward's face, and her sweet scent making his mouth water with human hunger.

"I was remembering how… _nice_ of a time we had… last night." She smiled softly, and he joined her.

"We did, didn't we?" She nodded. His other hand found hers and he clasped it, squeezing gently, fingers twining together sweetly.

"It was so fun, I think we should do it again," Bella said, suddenly feeling brave and excited in his presence.

"Do you now? Hmm, I think I can fit you in my schedule," Edward trailed off, chuckling as Bella rolled her eyes. "Would you like me to cook you dinner, Bella?"

She hadn't expected that, and smiled up at him shyly, nodding again.

"Good." He smiled, and turned, tugging softly on her arm, leading her back the way they had come.

* * *

Edward pushed her against the wall, the cold behind her and before her permeating her body. Bella was burning and freezing and overwhelmed all at once. He kissed her open mouth, eager and excited for her. "Oh, love…" he murmured and found her breasts, teasing lightly through her shirt and bra, kissing down her neck, as her scent drove him wild. Bella's small hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer, silently asking for more. Her breathing bordered on panting as his expert fingers teased her nipples and his teeth nipped her neck and ears.

"Edwaaard," she moaned, when his hands slid down to her backside, gripping her ass and electrifying her sex as his mouth continued to excite her. He pulled her in close, pressing her against his erect cock, needing her heat and softness as much as she needed his cool steel. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on his collared shirt, mind foggy and fingers clumsy. She only knew she desperately wanted this man, and would do whatever she had to do to make that happen.

She breathed out his name again, as she finished with his buttons and pushed his shirt back over his shoulders. The sight of his bare chest, all hard planes and sculpted abs made her breath catch in her throat. Bella's hands ran over his exposed flesh, savoring the feel of the rippling muscles beneath her fingers. She tentatively leaned forward, and kissed his sternum, then slid over to a nipple and bit down, unable to control the animal urge that rose up in her suddenly. He hissed and gripped her tighter, unconsciously grinding his hips into hers. He slid his hands down to her thighs, and gripped them, pulling her legs around his waist. He held her, hands on her ass again, and pressing his hardened length into the place where she needed him most. Bella groaned and brought her hands back up to his shoulders and her mouth to his lips and kissed him feverishly, frantically.

He felt her roll her hips into him, and he began to walk down the hall to his bedroom, kissing her all the while. Edward kicked open the door to his room and when he reached the king size bed, pulled his hungry lips back from hers.

"Bella," he said, eyes seeking hers out, trying to hear a whisper, anything from her thoughts. All he sensed was a big emotion, nameless, while lots of greens and purples swirled behind his eyes. She looked up at him, radiant goddess, hungry. Her expression was open, answering.

"I want to make love to you. Is this ok?" She moaned again, and gripped his waist more firmly with her legs, pressing into him. His eyes rolled back into his head momentarily.

"Yes, Edward, yes, please," she breathed, desperate. He smiled and continued.

"Bella, did you know that cunnilingus used to be referred to as a sort of male vampirism?" His lips twitched at his own joke, lost on her, and he began to lower her to the bed. She suddenly felt scared. What if it hurt? Or she was terrible at it? A look of distress crossed her face, and he paused, bent over her, face close to her own.

"If I hurt you, or make you uncomfortable, just tell me. I'll stop; no questions, love. Don't worry. I'll take good care of you." Edward sweetly kissed the tip of her nose, and she giggled, her apprehension slipping away as his hands returned to her breasts, kneading, still over her clothing. He wanted her to be so wet she would be writhing for him.

Edward gently tugged at the bottom of her shirt, and she arched her back, allowing him to tug it off for her. He exposed a hot pink bra, satin and barely concealing her ample bosom. Groaning, slipped the straps off of her shoulders, and she arched again, her own hands slipping behind her back to unhook her bra. Leaning forward to taste her sweet, freshly exposed skin, Edward licked and nibbled at her nipples, leaving Bella to pant and moan. She felt goose flesh fly across her skin, as her hands worked their way into his hair without her knowledge. As the sounds of appreciation emanating from her increased, Edward pulled back, inspecting her beautiful body again. Now he reached for the button of her jeans, and expertly unfastened them, and tugged them down as he looked into her eyes. Bella stared back, lashes heavy and face flushed. Edward licked his lips, seeing the indigo overtake her mind. Glancing down to her matching hot pink panties, he groaned, trying to control his need to rip them off and relieve his tension immediately.

Gently, reverently, he hooked his fingers in the waistband and slid them down her slender thighs. When a fresh wave of her arousal hit him, he fought back the urge to flip her over and pound into her. Never had a woman smelled so appealing.

He glanced back up to her eyes, silently asking for permission to continue. She smiled at him, and opened her legs further, inviting him in. Edward leaned down, still slow, trying to keep her calm and hide the fact that he was more desperate for this than he had ever been for anything. When his lips touched her softness, he found himself moaning, purring, as he licked and kissed and discovered her flesh again. Bella's hips had left the bed, unconscious, and she clutched the sheets, clenching her teeth. Edward could feel her stiffness, and all but tearing his mouth away, looked up and said softly, "love, relax. I didn't get a long enough turn before, so it might be a while. Might as well get comfortable."

Bella breathed out a lungful of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and focused on relaxing and enjoying the moment. Slowing, her muscles unclenched, and once Edward saw this, he ran his fingertips down her inner thigh, and inhaled deeply. He savored her scent before he returned to his position, with a hungry tongue at her clitoris. She gasped again, but let the air out, and whispered her appreciation at his work, trying to remain quiet for a reason she didn't know.

"EdwardEdwardEdward… ooh, it's so good, you're making me feel so good…" she wound her fingers into his hair, and he pressed against her more firmly, his hands working to either side of her hips and grasping gently. He lapped repeatedly at her button, like an animal in the desert. She quickly climaxed, never having felt such a powerful sensation, but he didn't stop, didn't even pause, but worked her through it, moaning only to show recognition of her first orgasm of the night.

Now he swirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, and with his soft lips created a slight suction. She let her legs drop flat against the bed, as her hips rose up a bit, and after a few minutes, she came again.

All the while, she sang his praises.

"Your tongue… make me feel so… oh god, I feel so good, you're making me… ohh…"

Edward hummed against her now, a delicious sound and sensation and she began writhing against him, eyes watering and hands still fisting into his hair. She was overwhelmed, overcome.

"Edward, it's too much, feels too good," he merely chuckled, and did not stop. For the next thirty minutes, Edward worked Bella's core, sweetly, roughly, quickly, slowly. Sometimes he dropped lower, tasting her delicious folds, letting his nose work her clitoris, and his tongue entering her only a short distance. Sometimes he barely touched her, letting his purring push her over the edge. Bella came four times, and was weeping from all the pleasure when Edward finally relented. He looked at her, smiling, face wet from her juice, and took in her beautiful body. He had never seen a more captivating creature.

She tried to raise her arm to pull him to her, but found she had no more control of her limbs than if all her bones had just disappeared. Edward saw her struggle, and smiled more widely, "well, love, it looks as though I did a good job."

She nodded. It was all she could do. He smirked, a crooked, cocky expression.

"Whenever you find your voice, you can thank me," he joked, and rested next to her. He was in no hurry. They had all day. Bella tried to scowl at him, but was in full afterglow mode and could only beam, no matter her expression.

"You are so beautiful. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that to you. I'm still not really done, but all the screaming might scare the neighbors." Bella blushed, not even realizing she had been making so much noise. It just felt so good…

"Edward?" It came out hoarse, her voice cracking, so she cleared her throat before continuing, "That was amazing." She nodded, as if to further emphasize this truth. He smiled, and told her he was glad she enjoyed it too. Her eyebrows rose, and he smiled sheepishly, gesturing to his pants. A small wet spot appeared at the top of his bulge, but Bella couldn't believe it was semen. _It must be precum. He's so hard, there's no way it's a second erection._

"What is it?"

He looked at her, "Bella, you're a nurse. I know you know what it is."

"Did you get off on that?" She sounded incredulous.

He laughed, "well, you did, repeatedly, if I recall correctly, so why shouldn't I?"

Her eyebrows shot up, disbelieving. "But you're so hard again. Isn't it a bit soon?"

The look on Edward's face changed, just infinitesimally, before he covered it, and smirked. "Bella, I have a very short recovery rate. Plus, it was just like a teaser. All my body wants right now it to be inside of you."

She blushed, but continued boldly, "well what are we waiting for?"

* * *

**Yeah, I know. It's not very nice. But, there's going to be some magic coming up! :)**

**-Compassion**

**Glossary**

**Poor peripheral perfusion: basically, inadequate blood flow to your hands and feet**

**Vascular disorder: this would be a disorder involving the vasculature, or blood vessels (veins and arteries)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Don't own Edward or Bella, but I sure as heck wish I could borrow Edward for a week or two. ;) Do you think SM would let me have him if I promise to return him... eventually? lol. Hope you enjoy. Please let me know you did. Or that you didn't. Either way.  
**

* * *

"… _All my body wants right now it to be inside of you."_

_She blushed, but continued boldly, "well what are we waiting for?"_

Edward smirked again, and Bella laughed, a sweet resonating sound that filled the room. He leaned closer to her, bringing an arm to her shoulder, he kissed her again, a tender touch that made her lightly sigh into his mouth. When his tongue pressed against her lips, becoming more urgent, she parted for him, and he lapped inside her mouth, tasting and massaging her. Bella's hands ran over his torso, enjoying the feel of his undulating muscles, and cool, hard skin. For a short moment, she wondered about the temperature, but Edward then shifted so he was above her, hovering, lips still connected, and her mind went blank.

Her hands moved of their own accord, reaching his pants, working to undo the button, fingers fumbling in her euphoric state. Finally, she was able to release the connection, and the zip undid itself from all the pressure behind it. She slid her hands around to his backside, and squeezed gently, enjoying the firmness, before pushing his pants down to mid-thigh. At this, Edward moved a hand to help her, and he wiggled his hips and pushed with his palm to free his legs. Bella watched as he pressed himself up, and then slid off the bed to let them fall to the floor. He was now only in boxers, tented and dark. Bella bit her lip and turned to him, reaching to lower them.

As she slid them down, she was greeted with Edward's gloriousness.

_I'm not sure that's a word. _Bella smirked at her thoughts, a bit hazy at the moment. She had seen men before, but only as her patients.

_It's much different when you're giving a bath to an unconscious man, whose penis isn't erect. It looks so big. Really big. Will it fit? _Bella looked for a moment, and gulped. She might have been filled with trepidation, but she was still curious. Hands reaching, she gnawed at her lip with wide eyes. As they came into contact with her new gleaming, hard toy, Edward hissed and his hips jerked reflexively. She glanced up at him momentarily, and saw he had a look of deep concentration on his face, fists balled at his sides. Bella smiled softly, and then lowered her mouth the rest of the way to him, and heard a most beautiful sound—Edward's very vocal appreciation; a loud moan. With both hands stacked at his base, like she was trying to start a baseball game, she hummed and licked at this tip, not really sure what to do.

It was, however, obvious, that he was enjoying this as he hissed again. Removing one hand, she lowered her mouth a bit further, and began to work back and forth, sucking ever so lightly. Edward's had placed his hands on her shoulders, and then into her hair, pulling softly, making Bella moan in response. After a few minutes, he spoke:

"Bella," and she looked up at him, still caressing him with her tongue. He groaned, and pulled her back, so he might be able to think.

"I don't want to come in your mouth right now. You should stop." Bella's eyes widened and she blushed, pleased but unaware that had been having such a potent effect on him. She nodded, and stilled her mouth, removing her hands. She slid back on the bed and laid down, looking at Edward intently as he reached for his bedside table, opening a drawer there, and pulling out a condom.

"Edward," she breathed, suddenly shy again, "may I put it on?" He laughed, and handed the package to her. Bella sat up, and ripped it open, then took a moment to inspect it.

"Come here, please."

Edward shimmied closer, and Bella grasped him again, smiling coyly, and deftly rolled the condom over his cool, ivory shaft. He groaned at the pressure and the warmth of her small fingers.

"Perfect," Edward crooned, and then gently pushed her back into the bed, following close behind. Crawling back over to her, he lay next to her on his side, and arm draped over her torso, tickling her belly. Her eyes were wide and a bit glassy, and he kissed her again, so hungry for her, trying to excite her and calm himself.

_A precarious balance_, he thought, smirking and drawling circles around her navel. She moaned and wrapped her hands around his shoulders and head, pulling lightly, so he relented and shifted to hover over her again. He pressed his hands into the bed on either side of her, arms bent but unwavering in their preternatural strength. Now they were nearly there, and Bella felt another wave of nervousness rip through her, making her heart rate skyrocket, and Edward paused, hearing this, and met her eyes.

"Bella… we don't have to do this. Remember, you can tell me to stop anytime." And she nodded, fully aware, but burning so hot she couldn't have said no even if she could speak. She nodded again, and slid her legs apart, making room for him, squeezing his biceps with her tiny hands, letting him know she was ready.

"I'll be gentle," he murmured, positioning his legs inside the angle of her own, and then kissed her again.

Edward felt cold against her too-hot flesh, swollen and so ready for him. Bella was very aware of how wet she was at the moment, all nerve endings and sensations. He used one hand to align himself, his tip just resting at her entrance, and then slid his other hand to grasp the back of her head, kissing her deeply. She was excited, and nervous and so ready. Bella shifted her hips just slightly, closer to him, so his tip entered her, and he took it as her signal to begin. Slowly, so slowly that Bella was not even sure he was moving, Edward entered. He watched her face, reading her reactions, straining to withhold the beast within him that wanted to ravish her completely.

He saw the discomfort she tried to hide for his sake, when he reached her barrier, and he paused for a moment.

"Do you want me to break it fast or slow?" Bella bit her lip, not sure. _Is it like a band aid?_ He could see her orange confusion and continued to slowly press into her, feeling it tear, feeling the heat of the blood, of her flesh sliding and making room for him. He groaned at all of the sensations, and she made another face of pain, not hiding it as well this time, but he continued to push forward slowly, past her defense and into the very depths of her wet heat. Once he completed his first journey forward, Edward stilled, giving her a moment to adjust. Bella found that the cool temperature of Edward's erection eased the pain, and as he lay, fully sheathed within her, that she rather enjoyed this sensation of fullness.

"Edward," she whispered, "I feel so full. It's so good," and contracted her pelvic floor muscles, triggering his cock to twitch. They smiled together, and he pulled back, groaning at the sensation, while her eyes rolled back into her head, and her mouth flew open. "So good, I had no idea…" she panted, as he moved, gently, softly, and slid his hands to cradle the back of her head. He leaned down and kissed her, murmuring against her lips, "you ok?"

She nodded, and began to pant as his pace increased ever so slightly and opened her legs a bit further, inviting him in.

"How does it feel?" he wondered, still meeting her eyes intently, but Bella didn't know how to say what she was experiencing, and didn't respond. She opened her mouth, eyes wide, staring deeply into his, overwhelmed.

"Good? Is it good? You ok?"

She groaned, pulling on his shoulders. Edward stopped, gently applying pressure to her head, which his hands cradled.

"Am I hurting you? Please answer me."

"Edward… I've never felt so… oh, it's so weird."

He chuckled, "good weird or bad weird?"

"Uhh, I don't know."

He stilled, pulling his head back, bracing himself by turning his palms down into the mattress.

"Bella…" his voice was low, dangerous, "talk to me. Shall I stop? Oh, forget it. We can try another time."

He moved to pull out of her, which was really the last thing he could ever want to do, but she made a strange noise, and swiftly wrapped her legs around his hips. This effectively pulled him inside her all the way, making them both moan loudly. Bella lifted her hips, and brought her feet down into the cheeks of his ass, which made him drop his head into her clavicle, shocked and very pleased at her response.

"Edward, I don't want you to stop. God, you're so deep like that. Ugh, I just need a second."

He nodded, still buried in her neck, remaining motionless.

Bella ran her fingers over his back, enjoying the sensation of his strength, and of him filling her.

"Edward," she whispered, "it feels so good. I had no idea. Wow. Is it always like this?"

He shook his head, kissing her neck softly.

"Really? I think I'm ready, Edward," she breathed, so he began to move.

Slowly, in an out, with deep concentration on the colors she showed him, Edward worked through Bella. She groaned, and pulled at him, whispering words that made perfect nonsense.

"It's so weird, Edward, so good, but weird…" and they laughed, and moved and breathed together. He knew she was too smart for this, but Edward had never wanted anyone like he wanted Bella. She was compassionate and brave and ready to act on behalf of others but never herself. She was backwards and brilliant and selfless and everything that had ever frustrated and enraptured him.

"Bella," he moaned, looking into her eyes, moving slowly within her, and she whispered his name in response, soulful brown orbs piercing him and making him feel exposed. Bella's chest was so full, overflowing with elation and joy. He continued to move within, and slowly increased his pace, eliciting soft moans from her. Edward was having a difficult time maintaining this slow pace. He paused after filling her completely, and told her to put her legs down. She did so immediately.

As he rolled onto his back, they vocalized their appreciation of this new position. His hands now fell to her hips, and he assisted her to rise and fall, only stabilizing and supporting, not commanding. She grinned, and worked, and crossed her arms above her head, causing her breasts to jut out, bouncing as she brought herself down. He couldn't help but work over the tempting peaks for a few minutes, but as his climax neared, he knew he wanted Bella to come with him.

"Love," he spoke, and she dropped her hands to his outstretched ones. He supported her with one unwavering hand, and with the other found where they were joined. He laid her fingers onto the moving flesh, and she marveled at the sensation, so full, so hot, yet so cold, too. Her eyes were wide with marveling, and she looked so beautiful to him, that he could barely hold on a moment longer.

"I want you to come again, with me. Do you think you've got another for me?" and his hand moved hers aside, finding her sensitive bud and working quickly. Edward's other palm went back to her hip, helping her move as her motions became sloppy, like her breathing. But determined Bella continued to rise and fall over him, a bit more reckless, almost dropping onto him and shakily rising up.

Edward could see the azure of her orgasm approaching, and knowing she felt the same sensations he did overwhelmed him. As she contracted around him, crying and shaking, he half rose up, calling out her name loudly, pressing her body into his desperately.

They fell apart together for a few moments.

As Edward softened inside of her, Bella decided to fall forward, incapable of holding herself up with her pathetic, quivering limbs.

Edward shifted so they both lay on their sides, and slipped out of her, knowing he must act quickly lest his unnatural physical reactions give Bella cause for further suspicion. He kissed her temple, sweetly, then her lips deeply, and rose from the bed.

"I need to get rid of this," pointed to the condom, and made his way to the bathroom. He returned a moment later, with a wet washcloth, and motioned for Bella to slide her legs apart. She shook her head no, but he gently gripped her leg, kissing her knee, and, with the greatest of tenderness, cleaned the scant amount of blood that was smeared on her thighs. He continued to kiss her legs, and then looked up at her sweetly. She smiled, and let her head fall back. Edward joined her, draping an arm across her belly comfortably.

They were silent together for a few moments.

Finally, Bella turned to him, and kissed his arm, which was within reach, and found his eyes.

"Edward," she began, her voice now sensual in a way she had never been able to achieve before, "you were A. Maze. Ing." Her tinkling laugh filled the room, and swirled around his bass, full one. He kissed her temple, and made a few sweeps of his fingers over the crook of her arm. Goosebumps rose across her skin, and he reached for a soft blanket, under which he tucked her.

As he wrapped the cloth around her feet, Bella spoke, "Edward… I have a question."

He met her eyes, expression open.

"Well, you know you don't have to tell me, if you really don't want to… but… why do you feel different?"

He knew exactly what she wanted to know, but feigned ignorance.

"What do you mean? Now that I've gotten you off so many times?" He laughed, trying to derail her.

"No, Edward, be serious," she frowned slightly.

"Oh, but I am. Do you know how beautiful you look when you come? And the noises you make, so incredible," his voice developed a husky quality, and she blushed, as a certain look rose in her eyes.

"Of course I don't. Stop distracting me. I just thought I might ask."

He looked at her for a moment, considering. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, surprising himself.

"It's ok. If you want to tell me… you can. No pressure. Really." Her expression was earnest.

Now it was his turn to frown. So sweet. So innocent.

_And you're ruining her!_

He fought back the unpleasant thoughts, and knew that he could never tell Bella.

_But what happens when she gets her first wrinkle? And you never seem to look older than you have for the last hundred years? What happens when she isn't so gently prying?_

Edward felt as though he was drowning in despair at the knowledge that Bella could never truly be his. As the tide came to sweep over his head, leaving him for undead, he felt her hot little hand on his cheek, pulling him up.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I won't ask again. Just don't make that face. I'm sorry, please come back," she urgently whispered. Without realizing it, Edward's emotions had written themselves across his face, and despair had attempted to break forth. If he hadn't heard Bella's voice, Edward would have been consumed.

"Bella," he said, voice wavering slightly, "I don't think I can talk about it," and she nodded, kissing him again, fiercely this time, yanking him completely back into the present. He pressed into her, real, here, now, alive and _his_, even if for only this moment. She ran her fingers through his hair, and hummed and he calmed, and they tangled themselves back into his sheets.

**Bella's getting curious! Oh no—what's going to happen? We all know sex for Bella and Edward is everything; they can't go back now! Tune in next time for more lovin' and drama and emotions. All of which can get sticky. Lol. That was weird. I'm stopping now.**

**Err, right now.**

**-Compassion**

**P.S. I'd really love for you to drop me a line and let me know what you think about my story. We all know it's the only reason to write! :)  
**


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